The Hardest Part

During my first 3 months of training in Benin, the PCT’s (Peace Corps Trainee’s) were all told about which periods of service were most likely to be the hardest. We were told that the first three months in country were going to be the most intense of all our time in Benin. Then we were told that the first three months at site (after training) were going to be the”hardest”. So if I made it past those first three months, things would defiantly be a piece of cake. But what does that word even mean in this context, “hardest?". Because it is hard to learn a completely new language and pass a proficiency test. It is also hard to learn about all the public health information for Benin in a short 3 month period. And it is especially hard to have an open mind every second of every day in order to be accepting and non judgmental to a new culture. I guess I am just confused on why they would tell us that our first three months at site would be the hardest, when clearly every aspect and every day of this journey is “hard”. So I am currently past those “hardest” first 3 months at site, and let me tell you it is definitely not a piece of cake now. It’s like I am on a roller coaster everyday that never stops going up and down. I really do love it here, but I have to say that this entire 27 months of my life is going to be the “hardest” thing that I have ever done. But is it worth it? Now that is the true question.

The reason I wanted to talk about this today is not because I hate my life here in Benin or because I think that my life is so much harder than everyone else. Everyone has got there own problems, and everyones problems are valid. I chose this topic because I wanted to talk about some of the struggles that I am going through right now in my life. Since it is the time of la fête (holidays), it’s natural for me to miss home even more than normal. But in all honesty, it hasn’t felt like the holiday’s here, so it’s been easier to not notice. I do miss so many things back home especially my family and friends, but I am so blessed to have internet connection to keep in contact with them. Things that I really truly miss that are materialistic are... good coffee, the gym and food. WOW I miss having a huge variety of food. We have no idea how lucky we are in the United States.

Now on to my next struggle… I think that the hardest thing for me right now over all is the cultural differences. Gender roles are very different here, and respect is a huge aspect of this culture. Many of these cultural differences don’t make sense to me or anger me to the point where I don’t want them to make sense. This anger is another “hard” part because it causes me to close my eyes, mind and heart to my community which is not the reason I am here. Now what I am about to say is only an observation that I have made from my village and not for the entirety of Benin. In my village, women take on the role of doing all the house work, cooking all the meals and taking care of the children. Men on the other hand are normally responsable for finances and making the majoeoty of the money for the family. Men also have a lot of control over their wives in all aspects of their lives by controlling what they do and where they go. Women have the opportunity to grow in status in the community by earning more respect which comes with age or community contribution. Girls are less likely to go to school because they stay home to help with house work or they decide to start an apprenticeship in order to make money. The government has put an emphasis on sending girls to school when they are young by providing free education up to a certain age, but as these girls get older they start to drop out because of pregnancy, financial issues, or just lack of educational support. I guess it just breaks my heart a little whenever I really look at the facts of being a women in this country. But holy shit, these women are some of the strongest people I have ever met in my life. I think that’s one of the most beautiful things about this culture, the strength of all these women even in the presence of all this inequality. I think the people of this country forget about the contributions that women make. Women are not just good for cooking and cleaning. They are be fierce warriors like the Amazons. They are intelligent people capable of making decisions for themselves and their families.

I am really looking forward to participating in all the gender equality programs that Peace Corps is involved in, and I also hope to start a girls club at the high school to teach girls about health, career and women’s empowerment. I will definitely keep you guys updated! So that’s that. I hope that while you were reading this you were able to keep an open mind. Life is hard, but if it wasn’t it would be worth living. So in conclusion, my journey is 100% worth it.

Life Update!

-I got a buzz cut

1. Because it’s hot as hell here.

2. Because its very normal to have short hair as a woman here

3. And why not???

-Also I got a puppy!!! Her name is Bena and she has brought me a lot of frustration and happiness.

- This is not an update but a suggestion... Go watch The Women King! Its about the Amazon warriors in Benin (which used to be called Dahomey)